To Be or Knot to Be.

Ties. Everybody has opinions about them. Wide or skinny? Big knot or minuscule? Should I wear one, or should I go with a gold medallion amid a blanket of fur? First, except for that last question, there is no right answer. The pendulum swings back and forth on these issues, and the Southern Gent is about classic styles, not here-today-gone-tomorrow trends. But here are some things to consider when answering these questions for yourself. Starting with the two obvious questions:

Width
To hear GQ tell it a skinny tie is the only tie. They're wrong. It's the only tie to wear if you're going for that Italian-gangster-meets-Thai-lady-boy look that they push so hard. Skinny ties tend to look a little less aggressive and a little sleeker. Thomas Pink makes some lovely ties that taper well. Tapering is half the secret here. You don't want a tie that goes from narrow point at the knot directly to a 4 inch spread. For a chic look, try Prada, Ferrogamo, or Hugo Boss. A standard tie from Brooks Brothers is 4" wide. That's just stupid. Ties from Gucci, Hermes, and other designers of note will float somewhere between 2 1/2" and 3", while a good quality tie from Thomas Pink is 3 1/8" at the apex. I like Pink's ties a good deal, but I also like slimmer ties. For business attire, I'd lean towards ties around 3" to 3 1/4" and 3" and under for cocktail hour.

Length
Between the center of the waistband and the last visible button on your shirt. Period. Thinner ties toward the long end, wider ties toward the short end.

The Big Knot.
Choose a knot size that your neck size and collar width can support. Check the mirror, if it makes your neck look small, don't wear it. To pick a knot or learn to tie one, try this great website.

Tradition
Italians don't wear Windsor knots. They wear asymmetrical four-in-hands. The asymmetrical look is a little more "thrown-together," and makes you look a little less uptight.

Brits tend to prefer knots popularized by Edward VII, the full-Windsor and the half-Windsor. Ironically, Edward never had the name "Windsor" himself. It was taken by his son, George V, when anti-German sentiment and reasonableness made it inappropriate to have the surname Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. These knots are often mistakenly attributed to the Duke of Windsor, the former King Edward VIII, who abdicated the British throne to marry an American divorcée and generally behave as a brat, a fop, and a Nazi sympathizer. These knots are more symmetrical and structured, and James Bond famously remarks in one of Ian Flemming's novels that a full Windsor is "the mark of a cad." I don't know about that, but it's size and symmetry do give it a certain arrogance and compulsive look. Under the right circumstances, however, that can be appropriate. Save it for the spread or cut-away collars. This is my favorite knot for buttoned-up occasions, but I rarely wear it out for drinks. The elder Edward used to have his ties specially made of wider cloth to make the knot conspicuously huge. I wonder if he was compensating?

When Knot To
Increasingly there is a trend towards casualness in the office. I notice it more and more at church, and it's even creeping into high-end restaurants, those bastions of snobbery. Poppycock. Men should wear ties.

A Final Note on Collars
Unless you're trying to look like an accountant, don't have visible buttons on your collars. A number of shirt makers worth their salt put button loops on the back of their collars. I found these especially prevalent in Italy.