I typically don't link to other blogs (probably a failing of mine), but after finding a nice guide to cigars on the Maxim site, I thought I'd put it up HERE. Cigars are a great pastime. They're easier to collect than wine, allow an equal opportunity for being a connoisseur, and, of course, it's fun to get some post-ban Cubans and brag to your friends about having embargoed cigars.
I love a good cigar, but I don't smoke them often. They're really tough on your palate, making it difficult to appreciate delicate wines if you smoke them too frequently. If you're going to have one after dinner, I'd recommend Armagnac, Cognac, Calvados, or Bourbon with them. Sometimes people drink Port with them, but I think they kill the subtle flavors in the Port allowing only the sugary-sweetness through. They do nicely with really big Aussie Shiraz, California Petite Syrah, Amarone, and other powerful reds, especially those that already have a smoky characteristic.
You'll notice in my picture that I'm drinking Champagne with a cigar. This was an evening of luxurious waste rather than connoisseurial appreciation. It's not a pairing I'd suggest.
Fun fact: The best way to light a cigar is by using a wooden match to light the cedar wrap that covers many cigars sold in individual tubes, and then light the cigar with it.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
And We're Back!
It's been a long few weeks since my last post, but the world of Southern style has not stopped. It's been flip-flop and campaign weather. Seersucker suits and any possible excuse to ditch the jacket and tie prevail, and it shall continue this way until September. It's been election season, and since I'm heavily involved in politics, I've been at quite a few fund raisers in the last few weeks. Hanging around the literati of Memphis, I've noticed a huge trend toward bright, paisley ties, and I must say that I like it. It's been back in on the East Coast for a year or more, but paisley's long and checkered history has been refined into something even more dandy-ish than ever. Pinks, pale blues, and gold are this year's shades. So, I think a brief guide to pulling off a paisley tie is in order:
1) Don't be too much of a dandy, Dandy.
A paisley tie is about as flamboyant as you can get without lighter fluid and lubricant. Don't wear it with anything else over the top. A solid color or pin-stripe (not chalk stripe) jacket and a solid color shirt is the way to go.
2) It's all anyone is looking at.
Something as bright as a flashy paisley tie is going to draw a lot of attention. It'll be a conversation piece. Wearing a tie like this will demonstrate to you how women feel when you stare at their breasts during a conversation. "Hey, I'm up here, asshole." Just accept the fact that you can't take yourself to seriously while wearing a bright pink, paisley tie, because no one else does.
3) Yes, it makes you look gay, especially when you...
That idea you had about getting a matching pocket square for your paisley tie. It's brilliant. Just expect to find yourself discussing Oscar Wilde and why you dress like him. It's a beautiful look, but when you change the paisley from a showpiece of absurd elegance to an accent on your entire wardrobe, you aren't just showing a little flair, you're looking for a date. The same goes for involving flashy shoes, a shirt of the same base color as the tie, a linen suit, or eyeliner. Put all of that together, and you're Truman Capote.
4) The Knot
Wear it with a four-in-hand or some variant. A double Windsor looks too serious for a tie that's meant to be a bit silly.
5) The Attitude
All of the above points are intended to remind you that this tie is ridiculous. Paisley is not a serious pattern. It's evocative of LSD and sexual license, but it can be lots of fun. I wouldn't wear it to impress a jury, but a room full of single women (or men) might just eat it up.
1) Don't be too much of a dandy, Dandy.
A paisley tie is about as flamboyant as you can get without lighter fluid and lubricant. Don't wear it with anything else over the top. A solid color or pin-stripe (not chalk stripe) jacket and a solid color shirt is the way to go.
2) It's all anyone is looking at.
Something as bright as a flashy paisley tie is going to draw a lot of attention. It'll be a conversation piece. Wearing a tie like this will demonstrate to you how women feel when you stare at their breasts during a conversation. "Hey, I'm up here, asshole." Just accept the fact that you can't take yourself to seriously while wearing a bright pink, paisley tie, because no one else does.
3) Yes, it makes you look gay, especially when you...
That idea you had about getting a matching pocket square for your paisley tie. It's brilliant. Just expect to find yourself discussing Oscar Wilde and why you dress like him. It's a beautiful look, but when you change the paisley from a showpiece of absurd elegance to an accent on your entire wardrobe, you aren't just showing a little flair, you're looking for a date. The same goes for involving flashy shoes, a shirt of the same base color as the tie, a linen suit, or eyeliner. Put all of that together, and you're Truman Capote.
4) The Knot
Wear it with a four-in-hand or some variant. A double Windsor looks too serious for a tie that's meant to be a bit silly.
5) The Attitude
All of the above points are intended to remind you that this tie is ridiculous. Paisley is not a serious pattern. It's evocative of LSD and sexual license, but it can be lots of fun. I wouldn't wear it to impress a jury, but a room full of single women (or men) might just eat it up.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Shopping the Life Fantastic
I love my occasional trips to Atlanta. It's the best shopping in the South, period. While there's great stuff all over town, the majority of the great name-brand goodies are at two malls, Lennox and Phipps, which happen to be directly across the street from each other. Lennox is for your average-joe (if average-joe were rich as hell), and Phipps is everything that's better than that. Needless to say, I found some things that I liked....
FOUND: Great off-the-rack tux >$1k
Hugo Boss' basic tux is a single button, peak lapel made from super 100's wool. The fabric isn't unbelievable, but it feels better than the thread count that they're claiming. It's quite nice for just under $800. Go to the Boss store. Upstairs at Saks the same suit is $100 more.
FOUND: Inexpensive, silk ties, 2 7/8 in. wide
Hermes and Ferrogamo make great ties in that width for just $140+ dollars. Skip the pricey name and go to Kenneth Cole and Sisley where they've got great ties in that same width for under $50. They're good quality and lovely, but the limited selection does present a challenge. Boss had some fab ties and a wider selection with a price that wasn't scary. (Oh, and if you live in a state without a Boss like I do, they'll ship for $15 and leave off the tax.)
FOUND: Kenneth Cole made some shoes I like (at last).
Kenneth Cole, despite my typical aversion, won my competition for the best inexpensive formal shoes. They had a pair of leather-soled slip-on calfskins that combined good construction, comfort, and a reasonably high-quality leather for $175. The KC obsession with rubber-soles was managed with a rubber inlay in a leather sole. It's the best of both worlds. (Though I still prefer all-leather soles.)
FOUND: Reasonably priced pre-shave oils
Art of Shaving had a lovely selection that I just loved. As the dollar falls against the pound, I'm rendering my shaving purchases domestic. They just got my business.
Some losers this trip were:
Nordstrom's, Phipps - My girl tried to buy a ton of shoes, and they didn't have her size (6 1/2) in any of them. Boo. You're a department store. If I can get a 36 R dinner jacket, she should be able to get mainstream shoes in mainstream sizes.
Saks - Your absolutely fabulous sales staff (I mean, they were great.) can't make up for the fact that you're marking up clothes that are available in the same building for $100 less. It just seems greedy. (My thanks to the unnamed sales rep who sent us to Boss.)
Kenneth Cole - Hire some sales reps who can be friendly and multi-task. I spent a lot less money than I was prepared to just because I didn't feel like dealing with the sales girl anymore. There were 2 customers in the store (assuming you count my girl and I together). One rep was doing some administrative tasks while the other was trying (and I use the term loosely) to assist all of us. I suppose that's why I wasn't paying more for the ties. Maybe they could just install one of those self-check registers and drop another 20% off.
FOUND: Great off-the-rack tux >$1k
Hugo Boss' basic tux is a single button, peak lapel made from super 100's wool. The fabric isn't unbelievable, but it feels better than the thread count that they're claiming. It's quite nice for just under $800. Go to the Boss store. Upstairs at Saks the same suit is $100 more.
FOUND: Inexpensive, silk ties, 2 7/8 in. wide
Hermes and Ferrogamo make great ties in that width for just $140+ dollars. Skip the pricey name and go to Kenneth Cole and Sisley where they've got great ties in that same width for under $50. They're good quality and lovely, but the limited selection does present a challenge. Boss had some fab ties and a wider selection with a price that wasn't scary. (Oh, and if you live in a state without a Boss like I do, they'll ship for $15 and leave off the tax.)
FOUND: Kenneth Cole made some shoes I like (at last).
Kenneth Cole, despite my typical aversion, won my competition for the best inexpensive formal shoes. They had a pair of leather-soled slip-on calfskins that combined good construction, comfort, and a reasonably high-quality leather for $175. The KC obsession with rubber-soles was managed with a rubber inlay in a leather sole. It's the best of both worlds. (Though I still prefer all-leather soles.)
FOUND: Reasonably priced pre-shave oils
Art of Shaving had a lovely selection that I just loved. As the dollar falls against the pound, I'm rendering my shaving purchases domestic. They just got my business.
Some losers this trip were:
Nordstrom's, Phipps - My girl tried to buy a ton of shoes, and they didn't have her size (6 1/2) in any of them. Boo. You're a department store. If I can get a 36 R dinner jacket, she should be able to get mainstream shoes in mainstream sizes.
Saks - Your absolutely fabulous sales staff (I mean, they were great.) can't make up for the fact that you're marking up clothes that are available in the same building for $100 less. It just seems greedy. (My thanks to the unnamed sales rep who sent us to Boss.)
Kenneth Cole - Hire some sales reps who can be friendly and multi-task. I spent a lot less money than I was prepared to just because I didn't feel like dealing with the sales girl anymore. There were 2 customers in the store (assuming you count my girl and I together). One rep was doing some administrative tasks while the other was trying (and I use the term loosely) to assist all of us. I suppose that's why I wasn't paying more for the ties. Maybe they could just install one of those self-check registers and drop another 20% off.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Eating In
As the front page of the New York Times pointed out Sunday, food prices have gone through the roof causing riots in numerous countries, yet the Southern Gent must still eat and eat well, especially when he's entertaining. So, as restaurant prices go up and my grocery bill tries to catch up with my tailor bill, I'm increasingly dining in.
Slate published this article on the poor response of the food press to this culinary crisis, citing the expense of the recipes frequently published and the tendency of inexpensive meals to be gimmicky stunts. I'm afraid that I must concur with the learned authors of Slate. The culinary world in general responds poorly to rising costs. Simply put, foodies like to eat exotic and expensive food. It's a status thing. It's a matter of keeping up with the Jonses, but imagine that the Joneses all shop exclusively at Dean and DeLuca. In response to that, I've decided to occasionally post a recipe that can be made inexpensively and easily.
Today's offering is:
Tea-Braised Pork Loin with Brussels Sprouts and Apples. (Serves 2)
Reccomended Wines: Benton Lane Pinot Noir, Oregon ($25), Nicolas Potel Santenay, France ($28), Leo Hillinger Burgenland Zweigelt, Austria ($18)
This is probably one of the best and most reliably inexpensive recipes I know. The Brussels sprouts can be readily replaced with sautéed shitake mushrooms, wilted spinach, or some other simple accoutrement. Boysenberry chutney works well. I serve this when I'm really in the mood for a steakhouse dinner but not the steakhouse tab. If someone you're entertaining doesn't eat pork, this can work well with a skin-on chicken breast.
Ingredients:
2 pork loin chops
3 red creamer potatoes, peeled and sliced
2 Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored, and cut into chunks
20 Brussels sprouts, cleaned and halved
1/4 cup walnuts, crushed
2 tbsp. grapeseed or canola oil
4 tbsp. butter
1/8 cup heavy whipping cream
2 tsp. chili powder
2 tsp. finely ground black tea*
sea salt
pepper
* You can cheat by simply opening up a decent black tea bag or two, I use Taylor's of Harrowgate because that's what I drink in the mornings.
This recipe has three basic parts: The meat, an apple-potato puree, and the sprouts. Make the puree first because it can be reheated in the microwave before plating, then par-boil the Brussels sprouts, then cook the meat, and while the meat is in the oven, finish the sprouts.
Puree:
1) In a 4 qt. or larger saucepan boil water and add salt until the water is "as salty as the sea". (Undersalting is better than oversalting.) Add potatoes and apples and cook on high heat until both can be pierced with a fork without significant resistance.
2) Strain off the water and put the potatoes and apples into a food processor or blender with 2 tbsp. butter and the heavy cream.
3) Puree. (If you undersalted, here's where to add more, but be careful. Remember that salt has a cumulative effect in the mouth, so when you're just tasting you want it to seem a little undersalted.)
4) Pour the puree into a microwave-safe bowl and set aside.
Par-Boiling the Sprouts:
1) Prepare a large bowl with ice and water. (Ice bath)
2) Repeat step one from the above using the Brussels sprouts.
3) When the sprouts are bright green and can be pierced with a fork take them out and put them into the ice bath to stop the cooking. Strain off and set aside in a bowl.
Meat:
1) Salt the pork on both sides with sea salt (I prefer the crystals.), and then dust liberally with a mixture of the chili powder, tea, and pepper.
2) In a sauté pan on high, heat 2 tbsp of oil (grapeseed or canola has the best smoke point) and preheat the oven to 400. Add the chops.
3) Turn them repeatedly until they brown on both sides.
4) Transfer to oven to finish cooking. (They're done when a meat thermometer reads 160. You might get by with lower temperatures (I do.), but for liability reasons I won't endorse anything lower as safe.
*Note: If substituting a chicken breast, the thermometer should read 170, and you should leave the skin side down when in the oven.
Microwave the Puree:
Pop this in the microwave for 30 seconds or so if it's gotten cold.
Brussels Sprouts:
1) In a sauté pan on high, heat a tablespoon of oil.
2) Add the sprouts turning as many of them as possible flat-side down.
3) Quickly add the walnuts and after giving them just a moment to begin to brown, remove from heat, add 1 tbsp. of butter and more salt (if needed). Then return to an eye with medium heat.
4) This is where you want slide the pan rapidly back and forth to keep anything from sticking or burning. Using a wooden spoon or tongs stir the sprouts to ensure that they heat evenly. They should be done in mere moments. Remove from heat.
Plating:
With a large spoon put a large dollop of puree on each plate. Swirl with a spoon to flatten it. Place the meat in the center of the puree, either whole or sliced. Pile the sprouts onto the meat allowing them to flow onto the rest of the plate. Crack pepper over the whole thing and serve.
Slate published this article on the poor response of the food press to this culinary crisis, citing the expense of the recipes frequently published and the tendency of inexpensive meals to be gimmicky stunts. I'm afraid that I must concur with the learned authors of Slate. The culinary world in general responds poorly to rising costs. Simply put, foodies like to eat exotic and expensive food. It's a status thing. It's a matter of keeping up with the Jonses, but imagine that the Joneses all shop exclusively at Dean and DeLuca. In response to that, I've decided to occasionally post a recipe that can be made inexpensively and easily.
Today's offering is:
Tea-Braised Pork Loin with Brussels Sprouts and Apples. (Serves 2)
Reccomended Wines: Benton Lane Pinot Noir, Oregon ($25), Nicolas Potel Santenay, France ($28), Leo Hillinger Burgenland Zweigelt, Austria ($18)
This is probably one of the best and most reliably inexpensive recipes I know. The Brussels sprouts can be readily replaced with sautéed shitake mushrooms, wilted spinach, or some other simple accoutrement. Boysenberry chutney works well. I serve this when I'm really in the mood for a steakhouse dinner but not the steakhouse tab. If someone you're entertaining doesn't eat pork, this can work well with a skin-on chicken breast.
Ingredients:
2 pork loin chops
3 red creamer potatoes, peeled and sliced
2 Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored, and cut into chunks
20 Brussels sprouts, cleaned and halved
1/4 cup walnuts, crushed
2 tbsp. grapeseed or canola oil
4 tbsp. butter
1/8 cup heavy whipping cream
2 tsp. chili powder
2 tsp. finely ground black tea*
sea salt
pepper
* You can cheat by simply opening up a decent black tea bag or two, I use Taylor's of Harrowgate because that's what I drink in the mornings.
This recipe has three basic parts: The meat, an apple-potato puree, and the sprouts. Make the puree first because it can be reheated in the microwave before plating, then par-boil the Brussels sprouts, then cook the meat, and while the meat is in the oven, finish the sprouts.
Puree:
1) In a 4 qt. or larger saucepan boil water and add salt until the water is "as salty as the sea". (Undersalting is better than oversalting.) Add potatoes and apples and cook on high heat until both can be pierced with a fork without significant resistance.
2) Strain off the water and put the potatoes and apples into a food processor or blender with 2 tbsp. butter and the heavy cream.
3) Puree. (If you undersalted, here's where to add more, but be careful. Remember that salt has a cumulative effect in the mouth, so when you're just tasting you want it to seem a little undersalted.)
4) Pour the puree into a microwave-safe bowl and set aside.
Par-Boiling the Sprouts:
1) Prepare a large bowl with ice and water. (Ice bath)
2) Repeat step one from the above using the Brussels sprouts.
3) When the sprouts are bright green and can be pierced with a fork take them out and put them into the ice bath to stop the cooking. Strain off and set aside in a bowl.
Meat:
1) Salt the pork on both sides with sea salt (I prefer the crystals.), and then dust liberally with a mixture of the chili powder, tea, and pepper.
2) In a sauté pan on high, heat 2 tbsp of oil (grapeseed or canola has the best smoke point) and preheat the oven to 400. Add the chops.
3) Turn them repeatedly until they brown on both sides.
4) Transfer to oven to finish cooking. (They're done when a meat thermometer reads 160. You might get by with lower temperatures (I do.), but for liability reasons I won't endorse anything lower as safe.
*Note: If substituting a chicken breast, the thermometer should read 170, and you should leave the skin side down when in the oven.
Microwave the Puree:
Pop this in the microwave for 30 seconds or so if it's gotten cold.
Brussels Sprouts:
1) In a sauté pan on high, heat a tablespoon of oil.
2) Add the sprouts turning as many of them as possible flat-side down.
3) Quickly add the walnuts and after giving them just a moment to begin to brown, remove from heat, add 1 tbsp. of butter and more salt (if needed). Then return to an eye with medium heat.
4) This is where you want slide the pan rapidly back and forth to keep anything from sticking or burning. Using a wooden spoon or tongs stir the sprouts to ensure that they heat evenly. They should be done in mere moments. Remove from heat.
Plating:
With a large spoon put a large dollop of puree on each plate. Swirl with a spoon to flatten it. Place the meat in the center of the puree, either whole or sliced. Pile the sprouts onto the meat allowing them to flow onto the rest of the plate. Crack pepper over the whole thing and serve.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Take the Wind Out of the Sails
The single biggest problem with the clothes that most men wear is that they simply don't fit. Let's be quite clear about this. Your clothes, directly off the rack, almost certainly fit like shopping bags. The most common example is the shirt. When you put on that shirt from Brooks Brothers, Banana Republic, or Thomas Pink, why does it have the same big bulge of fabric in the back that looks as though you could lie face down in a body of water and catch a lift from the prevailing westerlies? Why does it fit like you bought it at Wal-Mart? Because shirt makers, even designer shirt makers, presume that you are a bit on the chubby side. If you are a bit on the chubby side, then you probably notice that to get a shirt that fits around the waist you have to get one that's a bit loose in the shoulders. For the latter problem, you may simply need to have your shirts made for you (Bespoke shirts usually run between $150 and $600.), but for the former there is reasonable help.
Inquire about the store's tailor. Virtually all stores that sell quality menswear have tailors on staff or outsource to a good local shop. Simply have the shirt fitted to you and snip away all that extra fabric. If you're a beanpole like me, then you'll want the shirt fitted at both seams along the back and along the sleeves. Shops will not usually advertise this service overtly for one simple reason. It's a pain in the ass for the tailor. Having bought shirts at numerous high-quality, off-the-rack stores I cannot remember a single time when the services of a tailor were offered for shirts. Shirt seams are not only sewn together, but are also sealed with glue requiring a lot of time consuming and tedious work for people performing alterations. This is, however, a necessity for your shirts to fit properly.
Many shops offer a "slim fit" shirt to suit skinny guys. These are rarely all that fitted, and worse, they usually limit the number of styles this shirt comes in. You might be limited to barrel cuffs or point collars, and if you have this tailored you'll be creating the same amount of work for the tailor. Unless the slim-fit comes in a style that you specifically want, just pick the features that you want (cut-a-way collar, French cuffs, long tails, etc.), and have it tailored to fit.
Tailors, loathe to perform this service, might know a secret bespoke tailor which they will tell you about in lieu of tailoring all of your shirts. This happened to me once recently. I was quietly informed of a Chinese immigrant tailor who made shirts at his boss's shop for $40 a pop plus the cost of fabric. Sometimes these guys are good, and sometimes they're not. When I check into this guy, you'll get a report here.
One last tip: Always shop at a store that offers shirts sized by collar and sleeve length. The sizes will read something like 15.5/33. If you wear barrel cuffs you'll want to show about 1/4 - 1/2 inch beneath the cuff of the jacket. If you wear French cuffs (unless you're shy) go ahead and add an inch to the sleeve length.
Inquire about the store's tailor. Virtually all stores that sell quality menswear have tailors on staff or outsource to a good local shop. Simply have the shirt fitted to you and snip away all that extra fabric. If you're a beanpole like me, then you'll want the shirt fitted at both seams along the back and along the sleeves. Shops will not usually advertise this service overtly for one simple reason. It's a pain in the ass for the tailor. Having bought shirts at numerous high-quality, off-the-rack stores I cannot remember a single time when the services of a tailor were offered for shirts. Shirt seams are not only sewn together, but are also sealed with glue requiring a lot of time consuming and tedious work for people performing alterations. This is, however, a necessity for your shirts to fit properly.
Many shops offer a "slim fit" shirt to suit skinny guys. These are rarely all that fitted, and worse, they usually limit the number of styles this shirt comes in. You might be limited to barrel cuffs or point collars, and if you have this tailored you'll be creating the same amount of work for the tailor. Unless the slim-fit comes in a style that you specifically want, just pick the features that you want (cut-a-way collar, French cuffs, long tails, etc.), and have it tailored to fit.
Tailors, loathe to perform this service, might know a secret bespoke tailor which they will tell you about in lieu of tailoring all of your shirts. This happened to me once recently. I was quietly informed of a Chinese immigrant tailor who made shirts at his boss's shop for $40 a pop plus the cost of fabric. Sometimes these guys are good, and sometimes they're not. When I check into this guy, you'll get a report here.
One last tip: Always shop at a store that offers shirts sized by collar and sleeve length. The sizes will read something like 15.5/33. If you wear barrel cuffs you'll want to show about 1/4 - 1/2 inch beneath the cuff of the jacket. If you wear French cuffs (unless you're shy) go ahead and add an inch to the sleeve length.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Everything Old is New Again
Lots of guys, even Southern gentlemen, struggle with what sort of gifts to get their ladies. Increasingly the standard gift sets and manufactured gifts for the fairer sex seem like trite and passive purchases. Though I won't suggest that you avoid everything new, for those bigger gifts try something vintage. It shows that you put a bit of thought into it, that it's unique, and it puts your own taste on display rather than that of a marketing executive.
If you're from a town with good antique shops, go by and ask the shopkeeper. If there's much "old money" around, then check the estate sales for the best bargains. For those of you who (like me) have no time or neither of the above options I've recently been turned onto Fay Cullen's online store. Take a look at the collection of Art Deco and Edwardian jewelry.
Personally, I'd rather turn up with something with history over some trite, mass-produced junk that happens to come in a little, blue box. (Of course, Tiffany and Co. is great once you pass a certain minimum. Just don't get suckered into a $500 carnival trinket.) Oh, and when buying old diamonds you can frequently get lovely stones that aren't "certified" for much less money. The diamond market is totally fabricated (mostly by DeBeers), and "certification" is nonsense designed to drive up prices on cartel diamonds over old stones. You can still get great diamonds, measured in all the ways in which "certified" diamonds are that predate the DeBeers monopoly and the "blood diamond" conflicts for far less money than new diamonds which might be tainted by both.
If you're from a town with good antique shops, go by and ask the shopkeeper. If there's much "old money" around, then check the estate sales for the best bargains. For those of you who (like me) have no time or neither of the above options I've recently been turned onto Fay Cullen's online store. Take a look at the collection of Art Deco and Edwardian jewelry.
Personally, I'd rather turn up with something with history over some trite, mass-produced junk that happens to come in a little, blue box. (Of course, Tiffany and Co. is great once you pass a certain minimum. Just don't get suckered into a $500 carnival trinket.) Oh, and when buying old diamonds you can frequently get lovely stones that aren't "certified" for much less money. The diamond market is totally fabricated (mostly by DeBeers), and "certification" is nonsense designed to drive up prices on cartel diamonds over old stones. You can still get great diamonds, measured in all the ways in which "certified" diamonds are that predate the DeBeers monopoly and the "blood diamond" conflicts for far less money than new diamonds which might be tainted by both.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Shoe In
Over the past weeks I've been getting an especially large number of comments and questions regarding shoes. What should I buy? Where should I buy it? What goes with a blue/black/purple-and-yellow plaid suit? Etc. This post should answer some of those questions, and it should serve as foundational advice which will provide you a good "starter" shoe collection.
Some years back Esquire ran an article which suggested that every man should have two pairs of black oxfords, one pair of brown oxfords, a pair of loafers, and an optional pair of white bucks. That sounds shockingly like my grandfather's closet, and also shockingly close to my own with a few modifications.
First, a shoe should have a few basic characteristics. It should be leather, shoe, sole, and heel. Not patent leather or plastic, not some form of synthetic animal mimicry, it should be leather. If you want to save all the cattle in the world or require that horses no longer be allowed to die, then buy yourself a pair of patent leather hooker pumps and scurry off. If you want a nice pair of shoes, get leather. Good leather shoes can be taken to be resoled and re-heeled, and often can even be refurbished by the factory. They might cost more up front, but if taken care of they'll last a long time.
Second, men's dress shoes should have a traditional, rounded toe. If you think that you could stack them with mortar to build a house, forget them. Those chunky square toed things with soles as thick as J-Lo are no good. They look like orthopedic fashion crimes.
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's move into brands. For the wealthier shoe buyer, go to Saks. Find a good sales rep, and say that you'd like to try on every basic oxford from a high-end Italian designer. Try the dress boots too, but stay conservative. Buy one in black, one in brown, and one in cordovan. My favorite pair of shoes is a pair of Ferragamo Riace boots. They're cordovan, and I've never had so many compliments on a pair of simple shoes.
If you're not into spending over $500 on a pair of shoes (which you shouldn't be unless you're rich or someone else is paying), then you can do just fine at a lower level. The problem with the $100-$200 range is that there are a lot of good shoes and a lot of crap. Don't get sucked in by the Kenneth Cole ads. He's a great marketer and a mediocre shoemaker. Johnston & Murphy have gone more mid-range and make a good shoe for under $150. Cole Hahn does the same job. That said, my new favorite bargain is Banana Republic. For years their shoes were gorgeous little torture chambers for your feet. Now Clark's makes them, and they're comfortable, stylish, and affordable. Shop around. Different designers make shoes to fit different types of feet, thus a pair of BR oxfords fit me perfectly while Cole Hahn's oxfords always slip a bit at the heel. When you shop, wear a pair of slacks so you can see how they'll look. Some shoes that look great on the rack, or fine with your jeans, just don't look right with your favorite suit, regardless of color.
As far as decor on the shoes go, think thusly: the more seams/holes/etc. visible, the less formal the shoe. A wingtip with elaborate leather work is less formal than a cap-toe oxford, and a cap-toe is less formal than a plain, smooth lace-up. The cut of the leather around the laces is also key. "Balmorals" are "true oxfords" that have entirely closed lacing (i.e. The leather comes completely together.) "Bluchers" make more of an inverted "V" shape. Balmorals are more formal. All of this is, frankly, a little unimportant for most business attire, and most people wouldn't know the difference. To be safe, a cap-toe oxford is usually appropriate for anything shy of black-tie attire, at least in the South. I have two pair of identical BR cap-toe oxfords, one in brown and one in black. They're wardrobe staples.
Every guy needs a pair of slip-ons. Try for simple. I hate tassels and straps and all of that nonsense. Just get a simple, slip-on leather shoe whether it be a loafer or something in a newer style. I suggest a zip-up dress boot of some kind, as well. They're really versatile, working to make a suit cooler and more casual and really dressing up a pair of designer jeans and a blazer. They're not a must, but they're a great add on. Beyond that we arrive at the "white bucks" part of this post. You don't need a pair, but they can be cool by virtue of their anachronistic nature, especially if you wear light linen or seersucker suits. I wear something of a variant on these. I've got a pair of Steve Madden fashion sneakers that really work with those types of outfits. They probably get worn five times a year, and I'm sure they'll be dated by this summer, but they're fun.
All-in-all, quality is what matters here. Having flashy shoes is fine for dandyish types, but the skill involved in putting alligator skin cowboy boots together with a slacks and jacket combo is beyond the scope of this post. Get the above mentioned basics in your closet to cover the basic needs of a man's wardrobe, then ask about shoes just for Argentine tango.
Some years back Esquire ran an article which suggested that every man should have two pairs of black oxfords, one pair of brown oxfords, a pair of loafers, and an optional pair of white bucks. That sounds shockingly like my grandfather's closet, and also shockingly close to my own with a few modifications.
First, a shoe should have a few basic characteristics. It should be leather, shoe, sole, and heel. Not patent leather or plastic, not some form of synthetic animal mimicry, it should be leather. If you want to save all the cattle in the world or require that horses no longer be allowed to die, then buy yourself a pair of patent leather hooker pumps and scurry off. If you want a nice pair of shoes, get leather. Good leather shoes can be taken to be resoled and re-heeled, and often can even be refurbished by the factory. They might cost more up front, but if taken care of they'll last a long time.
Second, men's dress shoes should have a traditional, rounded toe. If you think that you could stack them with mortar to build a house, forget them. Those chunky square toed things with soles as thick as J-Lo are no good. They look like orthopedic fashion crimes.
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's move into brands. For the wealthier shoe buyer, go to Saks. Find a good sales rep, and say that you'd like to try on every basic oxford from a high-end Italian designer. Try the dress boots too, but stay conservative. Buy one in black, one in brown, and one in cordovan. My favorite pair of shoes is a pair of Ferragamo Riace boots. They're cordovan, and I've never had so many compliments on a pair of simple shoes.
If you're not into spending over $500 on a pair of shoes (which you shouldn't be unless you're rich or someone else is paying), then you can do just fine at a lower level. The problem with the $100-$200 range is that there are a lot of good shoes and a lot of crap. Don't get sucked in by the Kenneth Cole ads. He's a great marketer and a mediocre shoemaker. Johnston & Murphy have gone more mid-range and make a good shoe for under $150. Cole Hahn does the same job. That said, my new favorite bargain is Banana Republic. For years their shoes were gorgeous little torture chambers for your feet. Now Clark's makes them, and they're comfortable, stylish, and affordable. Shop around. Different designers make shoes to fit different types of feet, thus a pair of BR oxfords fit me perfectly while Cole Hahn's oxfords always slip a bit at the heel. When you shop, wear a pair of slacks so you can see how they'll look. Some shoes that look great on the rack, or fine with your jeans, just don't look right with your favorite suit, regardless of color.
As far as decor on the shoes go, think thusly: the more seams/holes/etc. visible, the less formal the shoe. A wingtip with elaborate leather work is less formal than a cap-toe oxford, and a cap-toe is less formal than a plain, smooth lace-up. The cut of the leather around the laces is also key. "Balmorals" are "true oxfords" that have entirely closed lacing (i.e. The leather comes completely together.) "Bluchers" make more of an inverted "V" shape. Balmorals are more formal. All of this is, frankly, a little unimportant for most business attire, and most people wouldn't know the difference. To be safe, a cap-toe oxford is usually appropriate for anything shy of black-tie attire, at least in the South. I have two pair of identical BR cap-toe oxfords, one in brown and one in black. They're wardrobe staples.
Every guy needs a pair of slip-ons. Try for simple. I hate tassels and straps and all of that nonsense. Just get a simple, slip-on leather shoe whether it be a loafer or something in a newer style. I suggest a zip-up dress boot of some kind, as well. They're really versatile, working to make a suit cooler and more casual and really dressing up a pair of designer jeans and a blazer. They're not a must, but they're a great add on. Beyond that we arrive at the "white bucks" part of this post. You don't need a pair, but they can be cool by virtue of their anachronistic nature, especially if you wear light linen or seersucker suits. I wear something of a variant on these. I've got a pair of Steve Madden fashion sneakers that really work with those types of outfits. They probably get worn five times a year, and I'm sure they'll be dated by this summer, but they're fun.
All-in-all, quality is what matters here. Having flashy shoes is fine for dandyish types, but the skill involved in putting alligator skin cowboy boots together with a slacks and jacket combo is beyond the scope of this post. Get the above mentioned basics in your closet to cover the basic needs of a man's wardrobe, then ask about shoes just for Argentine tango.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
To Be or Knot to Be.
Ties. Everybody has opinions about them. Wide or skinny? Big knot or minuscule? Should I wear one, or should I go with a gold medallion amid a blanket of fur? First, except for that last question, there is no right answer. The pendulum swings back and forth on these issues, and the Southern Gent is about classic styles, not here-today-gone-tomorrow trends. But here are some things to consider when answering these questions for yourself. Starting with the two obvious questions:Width
To hear GQ tell it a skinny tie is the only tie. They're wrong. It's the only tie to wear if you're going for that Italian-gangster-meets-Thai-lady-boy look that they push so hard. Skinny ties tend to look a little less aggressive and a little sleeker. Thomas Pink makes some lovely ties that taper well. Tapering is half the secret here. You don't want a tie that goes from narrow point at the knot directly to a 4 inch spread. For a chic look, try Prada, Ferrogamo, or Hugo Boss. A standard tie from Brooks Brothers is 4" wide. That's just stupid. Ties from Gucci, Hermes, and other designers of note will float somewhere between 2 1/2" and 3", while a good quality tie from Thomas Pink is 3 1/8" at the apex. I like Pink's ties a good deal, but I also like slimmer ties. For business attire, I'd lean towards ties around 3" to 3 1/4" and 3" and under for cocktail hour.
Length
Between the center of the waistband and the last visible button on your shirt. Period. Thinner ties toward the long end, wider ties toward the short end.
The Big Knot.
Choose a knot size that your neck size and collar width can support. Check the mirror, if it makes your neck look small, don't wear it. To pick a knot or learn to tie one, try this great website.
Tradition
Italians don't wear Windsor knots. They wear asymmetrical four-in-hands. The asymmetrical look is a little more "thrown-together," and makes you look a little less uptight.
Brits tend to prefer knots popularized by Edward VII, the full-Windsor and the half-Windsor. Ironically, Edward never had the name "Windsor" himself. It was taken by his son, George V, when anti-German sentiment and reasonableness made it inappropriate to have the surname Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. These knots are often mistakenly attributed to the Duke of Windsor, the former King Edward VIII, who abdicated the British throne to marry an American divorcée and generally behave as a brat, a fop, and a Nazi sympathizer. These knots are more symmetrical and structured, and James Bond famously remarks in one of Ian Flemming's novels that a full Windsor is "the mark of a cad." I don't know about that, but it's size and symmetry do give it a certain arrogance and compulsive look. Under the right circumstances, however, that can be appropriate. Save it for the spread or cut-away collars. This is my favorite knot for buttoned-up occasions, but I rarely wear it out for drinks. The elder Edward used to have his ties specially made of wider cloth to make the knot conspicuously huge. I wonder if he was compensating?
When Knot To
Increasingly there is a trend towards casualness in the office. I notice it more and more at church, and it's even creeping into high-end restaurants, those bastions of snobbery. Poppycock. Men should wear ties.
A Final Note on Collars
Unless you're trying to look like an accountant, don't have visible buttons on your collars. A number of shirt makers worth their salt put button loops on the back of their collars. I found these especially prevalent in Italy.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Toss the Old Razor, Get an Older One
The newest trend among the refined gents West of the Atlantic is wetshaving. Hardly new to our European counterparts, good shaving creams, old-school razors, and most importantly, badger hair shaving brushes have taken the States by storm. Much of this revival of quality over marketing is thanks to the success of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. For those of you who haven't seen it, Johnny Depp sings and dances his way through the more nefarious use of a straight razor. Strangely, seeing it made me want to test drive one of those silver-handled beauties, but I haven't had the time to go learning a new skill this year.
If you're still shaving with a disposable or (worse) an electric then it's time to trade up. These bizarre creations of modern industry belong in the Senate debates about the definition of "torture," not in your bathroom cabinet. Razor blades, simply put, are not quite as tough as we'd like them to be. Think of it this way. Imagine trying to slice through a piece of hemp rope, hanging from the ceiling, using only a knife, without pulling the rope taut. The rope, because it is both tough and flexible, would simply swing. If most blades cut into it, they'd simply tug at it, pulling it at whatever angle you dragged the knife, until it slipped off. Now, imagine that the ceiling is made of a sensitive material akin to, oh, I don't know, human flesh. See where I'm going with this?
When using a good razor, a glycerin-based shaving cream, and huge quantities of hot water the blade glides across the surface of the water, slicing though the hairs without irritating the skin. Adding a badger hair shaving brush (the most important tool in this equation) makes this work perfectly. The brush (and it really needs to be badger) holds hot water which is mixed with the shaving cream or soap to make a rich, foamy, elegantly scented lather. Moving the brush in a light, circular motion across the face layers the protective lather onto the face while lifting the hairs and exfoliating the skin. A good, sharp razor, pulled across the face without any pressure, slices the hairs instead of tugging at them. Sound good?
I'll spare you the specifics of "how-to" and simply refer you to two excellent purveyors in the UK whose web sites have step-by-step guides, Geo. F. Trumper's and Taylor's of Old Bond Street. Both of these shops have been in business since the 19th century and boast an amazing selection of products. I recommend Taylor's rose shaving cream and Trumper's violet shaving soap, but trying out new scents is half the fun here.
If you have especially sensitive skin, both have an excellent line of products to help there. Try Taylor's pre-shave oil to protect before the shave, and use one of Trumper's "Skin Food" moisturizer/aftershave products after the fact. Avoid using any aftershave that contains alcohol, even if it comes from a reputable source. Some old habits should die, but just don't seem to.
Insofar as brushes go, I like the Vulfix line. They can be found everywhere, even on Amazon.com. Their entry level badger brush is $40, and it does the trick just fine. You do not need to pay in the hundreds of dollars for an ultra-luxurious shave brush, but if you're the type that would you'll probably buy one just to tell me that I'm wrong. For what some brushes cost, I imagine you could find a trained badger to do the job for you. If you plan to travel, a self-encased travel brush would be in order. Both of the above sites have high-quality brushes as well for slightly more than the Vulfix line, but once you account for shipping the difference might be negligible.
If you want to be a real man's man (or plan on disposing of a rival), both sites have a decent selection of straight razors and accessories, but I might recommend starting with an old Gillette DE or a Merkur knockoff of the same. The antiques are going for relatively good money on Ebay these days, but Merkur makes copies of all the old Gillette models, platinum coated blades, and even new styles of DE razors that all do exactly the same thing. Their "Futur" model even looks like it might involve a light-saber-style blade.
The start-up costs here are significant for most guys, or at least it seems so. Buying a brush, razor, pack of blades, shaving cream, and any extras can easily run into the $200+ range after exchange rates and international shipping take their toll, but it pays for itself quickly. Aside from the old adage about getting what you pay for being true in this case, these products last longer and are cheaper to maintain. Where a pack of cartridge razor blades (like a Mach 3) can run over $20 for 8, a pack of 10 Merkur butterfly blades for a Gillette DE is only $5. The shaving creams and soaps last longer, too, as you only need a tiny bit to make a lot of lather, and without the spray can you don't tend to use more than you need.
The final selling point is a little more vain. Women love this stuff. Simply put, your gal (or the gal you're trying steal from the loser at the pub) will appreciate that your face now smells like fresh-cut roses, violets, limes, or sandalwood instead of deodorant and hairspray. When she sees you in the bathroom in the morning lathering up the old fashioned way and using a piece of steel on your face instead of a piece of plastic, she'll be sold. This is a simple decision. Chest waxing, by comparison, is painful and, frankly, a little nancy, but old school shaving is one of those rare moments when you get to do something that improves your appearance, feels better than what you're already doing, and is fundamentally more manly.
If you're still shaving with a disposable or (worse) an electric then it's time to trade up. These bizarre creations of modern industry belong in the Senate debates about the definition of "torture," not in your bathroom cabinet. Razor blades, simply put, are not quite as tough as we'd like them to be. Think of it this way. Imagine trying to slice through a piece of hemp rope, hanging from the ceiling, using only a knife, without pulling the rope taut. The rope, because it is both tough and flexible, would simply swing. If most blades cut into it, they'd simply tug at it, pulling it at whatever angle you dragged the knife, until it slipped off. Now, imagine that the ceiling is made of a sensitive material akin to, oh, I don't know, human flesh. See where I'm going with this?
When using a good razor, a glycerin-based shaving cream, and huge quantities of hot water the blade glides across the surface of the water, slicing though the hairs without irritating the skin. Adding a badger hair shaving brush (the most important tool in this equation) makes this work perfectly. The brush (and it really needs to be badger) holds hot water which is mixed with the shaving cream or soap to make a rich, foamy, elegantly scented lather. Moving the brush in a light, circular motion across the face layers the protective lather onto the face while lifting the hairs and exfoliating the skin. A good, sharp razor, pulled across the face without any pressure, slices the hairs instead of tugging at them. Sound good?
I'll spare you the specifics of "how-to" and simply refer you to two excellent purveyors in the UK whose web sites have step-by-step guides, Geo. F. Trumper's and Taylor's of Old Bond Street. Both of these shops have been in business since the 19th century and boast an amazing selection of products. I recommend Taylor's rose shaving cream and Trumper's violet shaving soap, but trying out new scents is half the fun here.
If you have especially sensitive skin, both have an excellent line of products to help there. Try Taylor's pre-shave oil to protect before the shave, and use one of Trumper's "Skin Food" moisturizer/aftershave products after the fact. Avoid using any aftershave that contains alcohol, even if it comes from a reputable source. Some old habits should die, but just don't seem to.
Insofar as brushes go, I like the Vulfix line. They can be found everywhere, even on Amazon.com. Their entry level badger brush is $40, and it does the trick just fine. You do not need to pay in the hundreds of dollars for an ultra-luxurious shave brush, but if you're the type that would you'll probably buy one just to tell me that I'm wrong. For what some brushes cost, I imagine you could find a trained badger to do the job for you. If you plan to travel, a self-encased travel brush would be in order. Both of the above sites have high-quality brushes as well for slightly more than the Vulfix line, but once you account for shipping the difference might be negligible.
If you want to be a real man's man (or plan on disposing of a rival), both sites have a decent selection of straight razors and accessories, but I might recommend starting with an old Gillette DE or a Merkur knockoff of the same. The antiques are going for relatively good money on Ebay these days, but Merkur makes copies of all the old Gillette models, platinum coated blades, and even new styles of DE razors that all do exactly the same thing. Their "Futur" model even looks like it might involve a light-saber-style blade.
The start-up costs here are significant for most guys, or at least it seems so. Buying a brush, razor, pack of blades, shaving cream, and any extras can easily run into the $200+ range after exchange rates and international shipping take their toll, but it pays for itself quickly. Aside from the old adage about getting what you pay for being true in this case, these products last longer and are cheaper to maintain. Where a pack of cartridge razor blades (like a Mach 3) can run over $20 for 8, a pack of 10 Merkur butterfly blades for a Gillette DE is only $5. The shaving creams and soaps last longer, too, as you only need a tiny bit to make a lot of lather, and without the spray can you don't tend to use more than you need.
The final selling point is a little more vain. Women love this stuff. Simply put, your gal (or the gal you're trying steal from the loser at the pub) will appreciate that your face now smells like fresh-cut roses, violets, limes, or sandalwood instead of deodorant and hairspray. When she sees you in the bathroom in the morning lathering up the old fashioned way and using a piece of steel on your face instead of a piece of plastic, she'll be sold. This is a simple decision. Chest waxing, by comparison, is painful and, frankly, a little nancy, but old school shaving is one of those rare moments when you get to do something that improves your appearance, feels better than what you're already doing, and is fundamentally more manly.
How and Why to Tip
Tipping is perhaps one of the most irritating aspects of dealing with the service industry in America. It seems like everyone in the States expects some particular (and varying) percentage of your total bill, and for the great mass of people who’ve never worked in the industries in question the practice seems arcane and sometimes a bit like swindling. Another great blog recently covered this subject, and after making the Digg front page, the comments were prolific. A common and lamentable refrain was this: “Why should I tip someone for doing their job? Tipping is for exceptional service, not just ordinary service. It’s not my fault if their employer is a cheap ass.” One psychologist even commented that he was ethically forbidden to take additional compensation for his efforts. An explanation is in order here.
Tipping originated in a London coffeehouse where a box labeled “TIPS” was placed to receive a little extra from the patrons “To Insure Proper Service.” Today tipping is only standard behavior in the U.S. In most other Western nations payment for service is included in the pricing. Some of my British friends have even told me that tipping bartenders in the UK is considered somewhat insulting (though the same must no be true for waiters, as I have seen some ear-to-ear grins over even small tips there). In most of these other countries tips are appropriate, but serve their function as a little something extra for great service. In the States, however, employers and legislators have taken note of the trend towards tipping. As such, different rules apply. Simply put, the minimum wage for servers is half that of standard minimum wage, and excepting a few high-end restaurants in Chicago, I know of no place where servers are salaried or earn reasonable hourly wages. Tips are not supplemental to the server’s income. They are the server’s income. A restaurant’s pricing reflects this. One pays a bit less in the States for a plate of food than in the UK or France.
No one laments this arrangement more than the servers themselves. Servers are blue-collar workers trying to earn a living. In high-end restaurants, they’re highly skilled workers who’ve generally earned not only a slightly higher percentage but also the higher dollar amounts reflected in pricing. Restaurants like this arrangement for two reasons. First, it puts the onus of paying their staff on somebody else’s books, and second, it encourages servers to act as salesmen, just as commission sales do at car dealerships.
If you don’t like this system, don’t take it out on the server. They didn’t create it, and they probably don’t like it any more than you do. This failure by restaurants to think of servers as an integral part of their payroll results in a failure to think of servers as long-term employees worthy of benefits, sick leave, paid vacation, etc. Further, servers, don’t get all of what you leave, especially at fine-dining restaurants. They “tip-out” a percentage of their tips to the bus boys, food runners, and bartender. Think of servers like salesmen, but be glad that you know exactly what the commission is. Tipping poorly isn’t simply cutting into their “extra” money, but cutting directly into the money that they use to pay rent. Servers predict their income at a new job based on the PPA (per person average cost) of the restaurant and the average number of guests per server per night. Psychologists may not be able to take extra compensation, but that’s because they bill by the hour. Servers bill by the dollar spent, and they tend to provide better service accordingly. The difference is that they can’t turn you over to collections for failing to pay, but they can put a note in that little computer or book that says "Cheap Ass." I have even seen restaurants blacklist really dismal customers, telling them that there are no reservations available. The argument that "It's not my fault if their employer is cheap," doesn't hold water because you, in fact, are more like the server's employer than the restaurant is. Once upon a time it was even common practice in New York for servers to pay a percentage of their tips to the restaurant for the privilege of working there. Thankfully, there is increasingly a trend away from this, but it hasn't reached any sort of critical mass yet. Until you hear about it from someone in the restaurant industry, tipping is still a must.
A basic price guide:
Local Restaurant: 15%
Fine-Dining Restaurant: 18-22%
Wine Steward: $10-$100 (see the previous article for more guidance)
Bartender: $1-$2 per drink or 15% of a more sizable bill.
Hair Stylist: 10-15%
Taxi Driver: 15%
Bell Hop: $5-$20 depending on the quality of hotel
Hotel Concierge: $5-$100 depending on the quality and type of service rendered. (Concierges can provide amazing service like great tables at hard-to-get-into restaurants, or they can simply be good at using Google. Pay WELL for the former. Don’t even bother with the latter.)
Tipping originated in a London coffeehouse where a box labeled “TIPS” was placed to receive a little extra from the patrons “To Insure Proper Service.” Today tipping is only standard behavior in the U.S. In most other Western nations payment for service is included in the pricing. Some of my British friends have even told me that tipping bartenders in the UK is considered somewhat insulting (though the same must no be true for waiters, as I have seen some ear-to-ear grins over even small tips there). In most of these other countries tips are appropriate, but serve their function as a little something extra for great service. In the States, however, employers and legislators have taken note of the trend towards tipping. As such, different rules apply. Simply put, the minimum wage for servers is half that of standard minimum wage, and excepting a few high-end restaurants in Chicago, I know of no place where servers are salaried or earn reasonable hourly wages. Tips are not supplemental to the server’s income. They are the server’s income. A restaurant’s pricing reflects this. One pays a bit less in the States for a plate of food than in the UK or France.
No one laments this arrangement more than the servers themselves. Servers are blue-collar workers trying to earn a living. In high-end restaurants, they’re highly skilled workers who’ve generally earned not only a slightly higher percentage but also the higher dollar amounts reflected in pricing. Restaurants like this arrangement for two reasons. First, it puts the onus of paying their staff on somebody else’s books, and second, it encourages servers to act as salesmen, just as commission sales do at car dealerships.
If you don’t like this system, don’t take it out on the server. They didn’t create it, and they probably don’t like it any more than you do. This failure by restaurants to think of servers as an integral part of their payroll results in a failure to think of servers as long-term employees worthy of benefits, sick leave, paid vacation, etc. Further, servers, don’t get all of what you leave, especially at fine-dining restaurants. They “tip-out” a percentage of their tips to the bus boys, food runners, and bartender. Think of servers like salesmen, but be glad that you know exactly what the commission is. Tipping poorly isn’t simply cutting into their “extra” money, but cutting directly into the money that they use to pay rent. Servers predict their income at a new job based on the PPA (per person average cost) of the restaurant and the average number of guests per server per night. Psychologists may not be able to take extra compensation, but that’s because they bill by the hour. Servers bill by the dollar spent, and they tend to provide better service accordingly. The difference is that they can’t turn you over to collections for failing to pay, but they can put a note in that little computer or book that says "Cheap Ass." I have even seen restaurants blacklist really dismal customers, telling them that there are no reservations available. The argument that "It's not my fault if their employer is cheap," doesn't hold water because you, in fact, are more like the server's employer than the restaurant is. Once upon a time it was even common practice in New York for servers to pay a percentage of their tips to the restaurant for the privilege of working there. Thankfully, there is increasingly a trend away from this, but it hasn't reached any sort of critical mass yet. Until you hear about it from someone in the restaurant industry, tipping is still a must.
A basic price guide:
Local Restaurant: 15%
Fine-Dining Restaurant: 18-22%
Wine Steward: $10-$100 (see the previous article for more guidance)
Bartender: $1-$2 per drink or 15% of a more sizable bill.
Hair Stylist: 10-15%
Taxi Driver: 15%
Bell Hop: $5-$20 depending on the quality of hotel
Hotel Concierge: $5-$100 depending on the quality and type of service rendered. (Concierges can provide amazing service like great tables at hard-to-get-into restaurants, or they can simply be good at using Google. Pay WELL for the former. Don’t even bother with the latter.)
Sunday, February 24, 2008
10 Things to Know About Buying Wine in Restaurants
Every average guy in the world has been in this situation:
You're out for a date/business dinner/etc. at a restaurant that is far nicer than you usually bother with. As a guy, genetically inclined to like meat, sports, sex, and beer, you are not predisposed to navigating a restaurant wine list. You default to something you recognize. Bad move, but you never find out because either a) you don't get another shot at it, or b) they're too nice to tell you.
Beer Guy, this is for you. Murphy's Law of restaurants says that the guy doing the entertaining is probably a rung down on the cultural ladder from the person being entertained. If you're a beer drinker, she loves Champagne. If you dally in wine, your client is a collector. If you've got a decent cellar, that new associate you're trying to hire grew up in Napa and was a sommelier in Vegas before deciding to go to law school. Them's the breaks.
There is one, and only one, solution to this problem that does not involve giving up your career and hobbies to devote yourself full time to the esoteric world of wine. Use the resources of the restaurant to your advantage.
1) Pick the right place. Use a service like OpenTable.com when making your reservation, or check the website. It should say something about their wine program, and a restaurant that takes its wine seriously probably takes everything else pretty seriously, too. If you get a good vibe from that, then you're off to the right start.
2) Don't try to look like you know anything unless you really are sure that you do (in which case you probably don't need to read this). Defer to someone who knows more. Don't think of this like an admission of failure. Think of it as delegation of authority.
3) Conversely, don't try to look like a good ol' boy. Nothing says "low-class ass" like ordering a cheap beer at a fine-dining restaurant. If they have a high-end beer selection that might be okay, but it's best to drink wine. This won't just reflect with your date or client. It will reflect with your service. Because your waiter will assume you don't dine out often, they'll put you at the back of the line for everything.
4) Accommodate your dinner guests. first. Ask them what they like. Keep your questions vague to reserve yourself (and the professionals helping you) a good deal of leeway. Red or white? Full-bodied or light? New World or Old? Stick to the questions you understand the answers to. Don't ask about oaked versus unoaked wines if you aren't able to taste the difference yourself.
5) How do you know what you like if you don't know what you like? Simple. If you're a beer guy, then this is easy. If you don't care what kind of beer you drink, then you probably don't care on the wine front either. Just remember that wine is more alcoholic than beer. If you usually drink Miller Lite, then it's anywhere from 3 to 5 times more alcoholic than beer. Pace yourself. If you like Guinness or other stouts, then you probably like full-bodied, red wines. If you like Stella Artois, then you're probably going to like light-bodied reds and crisp whites. If you like Chimay, Blue Moon, or Hefeweizen then you will probably like richer white wines like Chardonnay or dry Riesling. If you like Pete's Wicked Strawberry Blonde or Killian's Irish Red, then you're almost certainly a white wine drinker, and you might lean towards off-dry Rieslings. Don't use the word "sweet" unless you mean sticky-sweet. In wine jargon "sweet" means "sweeter than dessert," and "off-dry" or "fruity" is what you probably think of as "sweet."
6) Talk about price without mentioning price. Look at the wine list. Find a wine that is in the price point you want. Say: "I've had the [name of wine] before. I'd like to try something different, but in the same range, not necessarily similar." Then tell them whatever information you know about what you or your date/client/etc. want. Generally you should pick a wine of the same basic type (red or white) as what you're looking for to avoid confusion, but if the wine steward isn't completely dense, he should pick up on what you're saying.
7) You're going to pay more. Restaurants traditionally have a "triple markup" on wine. This varies a bit because ultra-high-end wines cost too much to mark up that way, and cheap wines often can be marked up more without offense, but the middle of the pack usually comes in around three times wholesale. Liquor stores, on the other hand, usually mark up everything at 1.5 times cost. At a restaurant you're paying for those $30 a piece Ridel wine glasses, the cost of paying a knowledgeable staff, the service, and the restaurant itself. Most high-end joints couldn't stay open if it weren't for the money made on wine and liquor sales.
8) Corkage is fine, if you know what you're doing. People bring their own wine into fine dining establishments all the time. It's cool at most (but not all) places, but know what you're in for. You will pay a corkage fee. It might be $15 and it might be $100. When my friend was the sommelier at Citronelle in Washington, D.C. the BYOB folks were told that "We don't do corkage." They didn't have to because their cellar is spectacular, but if you walked in with a 1945 Cheval Blanc, you could bet your ass that they'd bring the glasses at no fee (at which point you were obligated to leave a glass for them). What's absolutely not cool is bringing a bottle of something you grabbed at the liquor store 30 minutes before dinner to avoid paying full price. This is especially tacky if the wine is actually on their list. There's a lovely bistro in town where I frequently bring my own wine that I do grab right before heading into dinner. I drink lots of Burgundy, and they don't carry much if any. I always bring nice wine, and I offer a glass to the owner who usually sits with us to enjoy it. Oh, and I tip like I bought the wine there.
9) Oprah was f*%@#^! wrong. Tip on your wine.
10) Don't try to be a snot about it. Even wine snobs don't like wine snobs.
You're out for a date/business dinner/etc. at a restaurant that is far nicer than you usually bother with. As a guy, genetically inclined to like meat, sports, sex, and beer, you are not predisposed to navigating a restaurant wine list. You default to something you recognize. Bad move, but you never find out because either a) you don't get another shot at it, or b) they're too nice to tell you.
Beer Guy, this is for you. Murphy's Law of restaurants says that the guy doing the entertaining is probably a rung down on the cultural ladder from the person being entertained. If you're a beer drinker, she loves Champagne. If you dally in wine, your client is a collector. If you've got a decent cellar, that new associate you're trying to hire grew up in Napa and was a sommelier in Vegas before deciding to go to law school. Them's the breaks.
There is one, and only one, solution to this problem that does not involve giving up your career and hobbies to devote yourself full time to the esoteric world of wine. Use the resources of the restaurant to your advantage.
1) Pick the right place. Use a service like OpenTable.com when making your reservation, or check the website. It should say something about their wine program, and a restaurant that takes its wine seriously probably takes everything else pretty seriously, too. If you get a good vibe from that, then you're off to the right start.
2) Don't try to look like you know anything unless you really are sure that you do (in which case you probably don't need to read this). Defer to someone who knows more. Don't think of this like an admission of failure. Think of it as delegation of authority.
3) Conversely, don't try to look like a good ol' boy. Nothing says "low-class ass" like ordering a cheap beer at a fine-dining restaurant. If they have a high-end beer selection that might be okay, but it's best to drink wine. This won't just reflect with your date or client. It will reflect with your service. Because your waiter will assume you don't dine out often, they'll put you at the back of the line for everything.
4) Accommodate your dinner guests. first. Ask them what they like. Keep your questions vague to reserve yourself (and the professionals helping you) a good deal of leeway. Red or white? Full-bodied or light? New World or Old? Stick to the questions you understand the answers to. Don't ask about oaked versus unoaked wines if you aren't able to taste the difference yourself.
5) How do you know what you like if you don't know what you like? Simple. If you're a beer guy, then this is easy. If you don't care what kind of beer you drink, then you probably don't care on the wine front either. Just remember that wine is more alcoholic than beer. If you usually drink Miller Lite, then it's anywhere from 3 to 5 times more alcoholic than beer. Pace yourself. If you like Guinness or other stouts, then you probably like full-bodied, red wines. If you like Stella Artois, then you're probably going to like light-bodied reds and crisp whites. If you like Chimay, Blue Moon, or Hefeweizen then you will probably like richer white wines like Chardonnay or dry Riesling. If you like Pete's Wicked Strawberry Blonde or Killian's Irish Red, then you're almost certainly a white wine drinker, and you might lean towards off-dry Rieslings. Don't use the word "sweet" unless you mean sticky-sweet. In wine jargon "sweet" means "sweeter than dessert," and "off-dry" or "fruity" is what you probably think of as "sweet."
6) Talk about price without mentioning price. Look at the wine list. Find a wine that is in the price point you want. Say: "I've had the [name of wine] before. I'd like to try something different, but in the same range, not necessarily similar." Then tell them whatever information you know about what you or your date/client/etc. want. Generally you should pick a wine of the same basic type (red or white) as what you're looking for to avoid confusion, but if the wine steward isn't completely dense, he should pick up on what you're saying.
7) You're going to pay more. Restaurants traditionally have a "triple markup" on wine. This varies a bit because ultra-high-end wines cost too much to mark up that way, and cheap wines often can be marked up more without offense, but the middle of the pack usually comes in around three times wholesale. Liquor stores, on the other hand, usually mark up everything at 1.5 times cost. At a restaurant you're paying for those $30 a piece Ridel wine glasses, the cost of paying a knowledgeable staff, the service, and the restaurant itself. Most high-end joints couldn't stay open if it weren't for the money made on wine and liquor sales.
8) Corkage is fine, if you know what you're doing. People bring their own wine into fine dining establishments all the time. It's cool at most (but not all) places, but know what you're in for. You will pay a corkage fee. It might be $15 and it might be $100. When my friend was the sommelier at Citronelle in Washington, D.C. the BYOB folks were told that "We don't do corkage." They didn't have to because their cellar is spectacular, but if you walked in with a 1945 Cheval Blanc, you could bet your ass that they'd bring the glasses at no fee (at which point you were obligated to leave a glass for them). What's absolutely not cool is bringing a bottle of something you grabbed at the liquor store 30 minutes before dinner to avoid paying full price. This is especially tacky if the wine is actually on their list. There's a lovely bistro in town where I frequently bring my own wine that I do grab right before heading into dinner. I drink lots of Burgundy, and they don't carry much if any. I always bring nice wine, and I offer a glass to the owner who usually sits with us to enjoy it. Oh, and I tip like I bought the wine there.
9) Oprah was f*%@#^! wrong. Tip on your wine.
10) Don't try to be a snot about it. Even wine snobs don't like wine snobs.
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